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Wednesday, May 27, 2015

thoughts on pregnancy (37 weeks)


Paul likes to take pictures of me like the one above.  And then I make weird faces and throw off his pictures like in the one below.  This somehow relates to my thoughts on pregnancy...maybe because life is about to be completely different, and is even a little different now, but I don't think somethings (like my weird faces) will change.


Other current thoughts on pregnancy (in no particular order):

- Somehow Paul and I will both continue to be ourselves as parents but also be completely different.  That boggles my mind.  

- We got confirmation this week that baby is head down but is giving no other indication that it's ready to enter the world yet.  That's a-ok baby.  You can stay warm and cozy for a few more weeks.

- Small aches and pains continue.  Swelling also continues.  No cause for concern, just all the regular fun stuff that comes with the third trimester. 

- We took our last baby class this week: caring for baby.  I remembered a lot of the information presented in the class from baby-sitting and taking care of younger siblings and cousins, but there's something different about getting ready to care for your own baby.  I felt a bit of that panic I've heard people feel on the way home from the hospital -- like, wait, I'm qualified to keep this little person alive?  Shouldn't I have gone through some kind of rigorous basic training - with drill sergeants and ropes to climb?    

- I think Paul is having sympathy nesting symptoms.  Which makes me extremely happy because he is getting all the work done that I had hoped to do but never had the time or energy for.  I'm very grateful to be going into this baby adventure with such a great partner. 

- Speaking of Paul, we've been making time for lots of little mini dates the past few weeks.  We arrived early for a dinner with friends so we could have a (non-alcoholic) drink together.  We've been running errands and going grocery shopping together (dorky but it's our thing).  We've been watching some of our favorite tv shows again (we love you Rick Steves!).  And we've been taking the dogs on long walks around the neighborhood.  All the dates are so simple, but they feel special because we know it's all about the change.  Very soon it will be the three of us hanging out and not just the two of us. 

- I've been able to continue with my prenatal yoga class and walking the dogs, but most other exercise has stopped for me.  I miss jogging and skating and just moving quickly in general, but I'm glad I can find some way to keep moving.   

- This week was the first week where I felt ready for the baby to be here.  I still have a lot of work to finish up at my job before maternity leave starts, but otherwise, this baby could get here at any time and I would be totally happy with it.  So much of pregnancy is about faith and patience.  You have faith that the baby will be healthy, that the birth will go as hoped, that you'll be able to figure out how to be a parent, that you won't go crazy from sleep deprivation, that the baby will continue to grow up healthy and happy --- but you really have no idea. You're essentially signing onto a contract that will change the course of the rest of your life, and you don't get to see the contract before you sign it!  You just have faith that it will all work out and that you'll be able to handle whatever parenthood throws at you.  And while you're pregnant, you're just waiting behind the start line with no idea what you're going to face.  I'm ready to not have to have faith in the beginning of parenthood and to just know how it's going to be.  I'm ready to meet this little baby and get the parenthood show on the road! 

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