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Thursday, April 11, 2013

things work out

I woke up deliriously this morning at 6:00 am to the fourth straight day of rain and clouds.  I blame my tiredness for my brain wondering back in time to old boyfriends and old crushes.  I was thinking of some boys I had liked who didn't respond to my awkward flirting and mixed cds and other boys who liked me back but just felt off.  There were so many years of feeling slighted or unwanted or like I wasn't quite enough.  I'm sure many of you have experienced a variation of those feelings at some point and know how yucky it feels.  Now, believe me, I still was having plenty of fun in my pre-Paul days and still had a healthy self esteem, but the search to finding a good partner was frustrating. 

I still remember how amazing the first few weeks of dating felt because it was the first time someone had really feltright - and thought that I felt right too.  I'm still slightly amazed by how well Paul and I fit together and how happy I am with him.  It was silly, but I had really questioned whether I would ever find a partner I meshed with.  It was really just a matter of being patient. 

I'm writing this down so I have hard evidence of how happy I am with Paul for the next time he drives me absolutely crazy.  Just because he's a good fit doesn't mean he doesn't annoy me, it just means I still want to spend my life with him even if he acts like a weirdo sometimes.  That's love for you. 

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