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Wednesday, April 3, 2013

fall in love for life

Maybe when a couple meets and fall in love, that plants a seed, and if they are very fortunate and work hard together in time it grows into a vine, which truly does entwine their souls together.  A sou mate seems to me something that you must work to enjoy, not a connection you could just stumble into. 

This great little book was another Anthropologie find.  Fall in Love for Life is 200 pages of inspiration from Barbara Cooper, a 93 year old widow telling the story and sharing advice from her seventy-year marriage to her husband Harry Cooper.  I loved this book because Barbara's advice was so authentic and so simple.  It reminded me of one of my grandma's favorite sayings: "keep it simple stupid [kiss]."   

Barbara has kept a positive attitude and repeats her belief that if you stay committed, work hard, and want what's best for each other, you and your "sweetheart" will do alright.  She realistically admits that not all marriages will work out and not all people are meant to be together.  When dealing with mid life crises or a partner being unfaithful, Barbara advises people to take care of themselves and be grounded in who they are, saying this will help them move on rather than waiting around for a person who may never come back.    

Barbara also had some of the best insights I've heard on the aging process.  Her wisdom was so refreshing in a society that repeats "it's hell to get old."  This "super senior" embraces her age, aches, and pains and says, "if you live your life one day a time, then you ease into the changes.  If you have friends, if you have family, if you love yourself and do what you can to help others, then you can forget about again and just focus on living."  Amen! 

I highly recommend this book to anyone who is currently married, engaged, or thinking about getting married in the future.  Her book is definitely aimed at heterosexual couples and includes gender generalizations, but overall the book is a really joyful read. 

I debated whether to share this picture, but I was thinking about our marriage so much while reading this book, hoping that we could enjoy a long, happy marriage like the Coopers (my new super senior inspirations), that it seemed authentic to include it.  Thanks for indulging me.

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