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Thursday, August 16, 2012

my grandma

This week seems to be a week of anniversaries.  Yesterday was also the one year anniversary of my Grandma Susan passing away.  Not a happy anniversary like starting JVC but definitely a meaningful one.  My grandma suffered for a few years after receiving her cancer diagnosis and had a very difficult struggle on hospice for the last few months of her life.  While she was in hospice I remember feeling sad, angry - with the situation and with her, upset, and numb.  But now, I just miss her (especially when I come across her name in my email or cell phone).
A year after her death, I feel grateful that she was such a huge part of my life.  One of favorite memories in her last year was getting to celebrate mine and Paul's engagement with her, my grandpa, and my immediate family.  We had a casual BBQ, and Grandma was completely impressed with the sausage my mom cooked for dinner.  Grandma loved things like that.  She talked to my grandpa for most of dinner about how excited she was to buy and cook the sausage for him, because it would be healthy and delicious.  Grandpa just nodded and smiled (like he usually did to her when he was around us).  

We gathered in that same room around the same table to write her eulogy the night before her funeral.  My siblings and I talked about the great interest she took in all of the details of our lives.  She wanted to know about the classes we were taking, the sports we were playing, the activities and projects we were involved in.  We talked about all the events we shared with her.  We talked about how much she loved us and how much we loved her.  

I feel so lucky that I knew that she was proud of me and happy for me with where my life was going.  I feel so lucky to have had one last good talk with her in her assisted living facility room while she was still lucid.  I feel lucky that I got to tell her how much she meant to me.  I feel so lucky to have had someone who cared so much about me and loved me so much.  -- Miss you and love you Grandma

P.S. Today is the last day to enter the free giveaway!  Leave a comment here by 7:00 pm (CST) to enter. Pedro will help me pick a winner, and the lucky person will be announced tomorrow! 

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